Marriage Series - Resolve Conflicts Through Forgiveness

 

Hello everybody, my name is Dean Davis and this is “Multiply,” the podcast that provides a word of encouragement for Village Church Planters.

One of the hardest teachings of Jesus is his command to forgive. Jesus said, “If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” (Matthew 6:14). To forgive someone is to give up our right to personally take vengeance upon an offender.  When we forgive someone, we leave vengeance in the hands of the Lord.

We all long to be forgiven, but we find it difficult to forgive those who have hurt us. Even in a loving marriage, it can be difficult to forgive. But God calls us all to “put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” He commands us to “put off falsehood and speak truthfully to [our] neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” (Ephesians 4:24, 25). When we do this, we find it much easier to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave [us].”

I think everyone who gets married desires a marriage that is full of kindness and compassion.  But to have such a marriage, we must learn to forgive your mate.  Here are some practical suggestions related to forgiveness in marriage.

• When you have failed your mate in word or deed, no matter how significant your failing, ask for forgiveness.  Both husbands and wives should say the words, “Will you forgive me?”  Then listen quietly until their spouse responds.  

 

• Recognizing your shortcoming without delay and then asking for forgiveness builds character. It strengthens your ability to resist temptation and to exercise wisdom in the future.  It builds trust.  Asking forgiveness gives God an opportunity to bless you, for he is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Asking your spouse to forgive you builds trust in your marriage.  Forgiveness brings peace.

 

• When you are confronted by your spouse with your own sin, oversight or failing, do not make excuses. Recognize and admit your shortcoming and weakness. Ask God for grace to change your behavior.  Make plans to do what is right, and then do it. Your heavenly Father delights to help you in our weakness.  He longs to make you more loving and kind. So let your mate’s rebuke be an opportunity for you to draw near to God, not an opportunity to fight your spouse.

 

• Before confronting your spouse with a failure or sin, examine yourself. Remember the instruction of Jesus.  He asks us, “How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Luke 6:42).  Husbands and wives often find fault with small failings of their mate, while overlooking large failings in their own life.  Don’t let this be the case in your own marriage.  Examine yourself and correct yourself before you speak to your mate about their sin. You do not have to be perfect before you speak, but you do need to be humble, compassionate, and kind.

So very many conflicts in marriage can be overcome by forgiveness. God wants to bless you with a home full of kindness and compassion.  His blessings will flow in your home as you humbly forgive and receive forgiveness.

This has been “Multiply.” And I’m Dean Davis asking, “Who will you share this encouraging word with today?”

 

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