Marriage Series - Resolve Conflicts Through Forgiveness

 

Hello everybody, my name is Dean Davis and this is “Multiply,” the podcast that provides a word of encouragement for Village Church Planters.

One of the hardest teachings of Jesus is his command to forgive. Jesus said, “If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” (Matthew 6:14). To forgive someone is to give up our right to personally take vengeance upon an offender.  When we forgive someone, we leave vengeance in the hands of the Lord.

We all long to be forgiven, but we find it difficult to forgive those who have hurt us. Even in a loving marriage, it can be difficult to forgive. But God calls us all to “put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” He commands us to “put off falsehood and speak truthfully to [our] neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” (Ephesians 4:24, 25). When we do this, we find it much easier to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave [us].”

I think everyone who gets married desires a marriage that is full of kindness and compassion.  But to have such a marriage, we must learn to forgive your mate.  Here are some practical suggestions related to forgiveness in marriage.

• When you have failed your mate in word or deed, no matter how significant your failing, ask for forgiveness.  Both husbands and wives should say the words, “Will you forgive me?”  Then listen quietly until their spouse responds.  

 

• Recognizing your shortcoming without delay and then asking for forgiveness builds character. It strengthens your ability to resist temptation and to exercise wisdom in the future.  It builds trust.  Asking forgiveness gives God an opportunity to bless you, for he is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Asking your spouse to forgive you builds trust in your marriage.  Forgiveness brings peace.

 

• When you are confronted by your spouse with your own sin, oversight or failing, do not make excuses. Recognize and admit your shortcoming and weakness. Ask God for grace to change your behavior.  Make plans to do what is right, and then do it. Your heavenly Father delights to help you in our weakness.  He longs to make you more loving and kind. So let your mate’s rebuke be an opportunity for you to draw near to God, not an opportunity to fight your spouse.

 

• Before confronting your spouse with a failure or sin, examine yourself. Remember the instruction of Jesus.  He asks us, “How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Luke 6:42).  Husbands and wives often find fault with small failings of their mate, while overlooking large failings in their own life.  Don’t let this be the case in your own marriage.  Examine yourself and correct yourself before you speak to your mate about their sin. You do not have to be perfect before you speak, but you do need to be humble, compassionate, and kind.

So very many conflicts in marriage can be overcome by forgiveness. God wants to bless you with a home full of kindness and compassion.  His blessings will flow in your home as you humbly forgive and receive forgiveness.

This has been “Multiply.” And I’m Dean Davis asking, “Who will you share this encouraging word with today?”

 

#EncouragementForVillageChurchPlanters #Forgive

‘One Another’ Series - Encourage One Another

 

This is Chuck Rapp with Multiply, a podcast to provide a word of encouragement for village church planters and leaders.

This year, in these podcasts, I am focusing upon the “One Another” scriptures found in the New Testament viewed through the lens of leadership.  

Today’s podcast comes from 1 Thessalonians 5:11. “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” (NIV)

The Message version adds some additional detail.  “So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind...”

One of my favorite New Testament characters is Barnabas.  Did you know that this was not his given name?  Acts 4:36 tell us, “Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means “son of encouragement”) …

Apparently, Joseph was such a powerful encourager that in every remaining mention of him in the New Testament, he is called Barnabas.  

Francophone listeners to this podcase will recognize the origins of this word “encouragement.”  It means to “make strong, hearten, or to give heart.” When we speak words of affirmation and encouragement to others, we build up hope in them.  

Let’s explore more about Barnabas, our example encourager.  

• He spoke up on behalf of Paul when everyone else was skeptical about him. In Acts 9:26-31 it’s recorded that “When he [Paul] came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles.” Apparently, Barnabas was so well-respected and trusted by the apostles that they were willing to accept his testimony on behalf of Paul.  

• He spent time with John Mark when John Mark had failed.  Acts 15:36-39 tells us, “Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us go back and visit the believers in all the towns where we preached the word of the LORD and see how they are doing." Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia ... They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus.”  I’m amazed that Barnabas was willing to part ways with the Apostle Paul so he could restore John Mark.  Because of Barnabas’ encouragement, Mark was not left behind.

In closing, I’d like to point us to the results of Barnabas’ encouragement.  If it were not for Barnabas, we would not have (1) Paul’s epistles nor (2) Mark’s gospel.

Be like Barnabas.  Be an Encourager of One Another.

This has been a word of encouragement for Village Church Planters.

Marriage Series - Walk in the Light

 

Hello everybody, my name is Dean Davis and this is “Multiply,” the podcast that provides a word of encouragement for Village Church Planters.

The apostle John sent a message to believers in what is modern day Turkey. In that message that we know as 1 John, the apostle described God in two ways.  First, John said, “God is light.” Then he said, “God is love.” John gave those who listened to this message a wonderful promise.  He taught that If we walk in the light as Jesus is in the light we will have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus will cleanse us from all sin. Wow! People all over the world long to have fellowship with others.  We all long to be known and understood. We all want to have friends who enjoy spending time with us, friends who share their lives with us.  We all hate to be lonely. We want fellowship with others.  How wonderful that the apostle John gives us a very clear instruction and promise to meet our need. He says if we want to have fellowship with others, we need to walk in the light. Walking in the light will allow us to have fellowship; walking in the light will allow the blood of Jesus to cleanse us from all sin.

So, what does it mean to walk in the light?  To walk in the light is to do the opposite of what Adam and Eve did after they sinned.  They hid in shame. At that moment, they loved the darkness more than the light because their deeds were evil. In contrast, to walk in the light is live your life without hiding your actions from God or from the people you love. When we walk in the light, we reject sin and deception.  Our actions are plain for all to see. We tell the truth and we practice the truth.  Our yes is yes and our no is no. We do not deceive others. We know that God is our constant witness and so we live our life to please him.

So how does this teaching about walking in the light apply to marriage? Simple. If we walk in the light, we have fellowship with our spouse. If we walk in the light by telling the truth about our thoughts and our actions, we can have fellowship in marriage. If we walk in the light by rejecting deception as a tool for getting what we want, we can experience the trust of our mate. If we walk in the light by doing what we say we are going to do and by not promising to do that which we cannot do, we will be more likely experience peace in our homes. Conversely, if we deceive, if we fail to confess our sins, if we hide the truth from our mate, our actions will destroy trust. We will not have fellowship, rather we will live with a person who is always on guard, not willing to share thoughts, dreams, hopes, and wisdom with us.  We will be married, but instead of fellowship, we will experience deep loneliness.

If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin (1 John 1:7).

Does your spouse trust you? Have you told your mate lies or hidden your actions to avoid criticism?  Let me encourage you with some other words from John, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.”

My dear brothers and sisters, do not hide in the darkness, walk in the light with your mate. As you do so, you will set yourself up to experience growing trust, joy, peace, and fellowship.

 

This has been “Multiply.” And I’m Dean Davis asking, “Who will you share this encouraging word with today?

 

#EncouragementForVillageChurchPlanters #WalkInTheLight

Marriage Series - Bear with One Another Part 1

 

Hello! This is Multiply a podcast to encourage village church planters, pastors, and Christian leaders. I am your host, Daneille Snowden.

Continuing in our series on marriage; we want to delve into

Colossians 3:13 that says: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

This should be a #1 priority for family, especially between husbands and wives. The longer we live with one another, couples tend to lay this aside.

‘To Bear With’ means to be patient! I also say; ‘Give each other a benefit-of-the-doubt.’ This means: “to believe something good about someone, rather than something bad, or to trust someone even though you are not certain about the truth.”

Before we conclude what, our spouses are saying, listen to their heart, then wait and even listen to the Holy Spirit. Plus, also: always forgive!

This is even how we become un-offended! And then God’s Peace will indeed reign over & heal the situation!

This is a form of communication, as we are being patient with one another, and truly listening.

Any type of miscommunication creates conflict, and conflict can inhibit God’s work plus, destroy relationships. Communication goes two different ways.

(1) Speaking clearly, in a concise manner and

(2) Listening with great patience, clarifying that we understood what was said to us.

In addition, I add that all communication be done with grace!

Oh, that Grace that brings great peace, healing and flow in relationships and the work we all do for Jesus!

In August of this year (2023), my husband and I will be married for 35 years. To be quite honest, we walked this lesson through repeatedly. I look back and wish I could tell my young self to simply BE PATIENT, to LISTEN, and to HAVE GRACE. When we pastored and counselled couples, this lesson right-here is the common thread for marriage conflict. The disputes all happen when husbands and wives are not patient, they’re not talking or listening to one another, they’re simply being easily offended, and then not showing grace.   

Yet, God has provided great instruction how to overcome, and even be better in our relationship with one another. We do this all in His love.

(Read Ephesians 4:2)

Thank you so much for listening today! Will you share this podcast with others? Also, find us on Facebook at Encouragement for Village Church Planters + YouTube; click FOLLOW and Share the page with others.

 

Marriage Series - The Wife Must Respect Her Husband Part 2

 This is Multiply a podcast to encourage village church planters and leaders and I am Brad

Snowden. Today we continue the conversation about the subject of wives respecting their

husbands. Let us look at Respect; in the dictionary, respect means to uphold or regard.

Proverbs 29:23  "A man's pride shall bring him low: but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit."

Uphold in the Hebrew: to sustain & keep fast. Figuratively to help wives, I wonder if you ever thought of respecting your husband as sustaining him? That is what you accomplish when you honor or respect your husband.

Sustain to support, hold, or bear up.   Ephesians 5:25  "Husbands, love your wives seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,..."

The blessing of this scripture is the honor and respect that we are to have for one another. It

magnifies as husband and wife dwelling together in unity.

The times that I feel respected most is when I know my wife and I are one in prayer and able

to walk down the road of ministry together. I know that her prayers are the strength that

many times sees me through.

Wives you can share in great victories as you stand fast spiritually with your husband.

I know that when life becomes difficult the need is even greater to press in and sustain one

another with words of encouragement and prayer.

I believe that the victories are to be shared and how greater the victory is when we share it

with our spouse. The blessings flow as my wife supports me, as I try to do anything for the Lord

and I know through her support, that she truly upholds my heart with her heart. We can and do

live fully in the blessings of the Lord even in the challenging times because of Jesus Christ’s

example of love toward us. 

This has been a word of encouragement for village church planters. Who will you share this with today?

One Another Series - Submit to One Another

This is Chuck Rapp with Multiply, a podcast to provide a word of encouragement for village church planters and leaders.

This year, in these podcasts, I am focusing upon the “One Another” scriptures found in the New Testament. 

Today’s podcast comes from Ephesians 5:21. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”  In my New International Version, the heading for this verse and the verses that follow is “Instructions for Christian Households.”  As the scheduled day for the release of this podcast will be my wife’s and my 44^th wedding anniversary, in this episode I will join others who are sharing in these podcasts about principles of Christian marriage. 

In its simplest sense, what the Apostle Paul is saying here is that husbands and wives are to mutually submit to one another.  Husbands demonstrate this by their sacrificial love for their wives (as Christ did for the Church, see verses 25 and 33).  Wives demonstrate their mutual submission by their respect (we see this in verse 33) for their husbands.

Paul gives similar instructions in Philippians 2:3-4.  “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.  Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” 

When a husband and wife are in mutual submission to one another, each of them gives consideration to their mate’s interests and needs.  In humility, they place their spouse’s needs ahead of their own. 

In our 44-year marriage, there have been times and seasons when I have had to (or perhaps I should say that I have “chosen to”) place my wife’s needs ahead of my own.  This past year leading up to her recent back surgery, I found myself helping with tasks that previously she would have been able to do herself.  In love, I took on these physical responsibilities.

Similarly, one result of my wife’s respect and love for me is that she is very supportive of my ministry call – and travel – in Africa.  This year she will endure the loneliness of my five trips to Africa. 

Secondly in this passage, our motivation for this mutual submission is critical.  We choose to submit to one another “out of reverence for Christ.”  Jesus is our ultimate example. In the Garden prayer in Gethsemane, He submitted to the Father, praying “not my will, but yours be done.”  It is out of our reverence for Christ, His preeminence in our lives, that we choose to yield our rights and we mutually submit to one another in our marriages.  My prayer for you today is that you, too, will enjoy many years of Christian marriage under the Lordship of Christ.  

This has been a word of encouragement for Village Church Planters.

‘One Another’ Series - Pray for One Another

 This is Chuck Rapp with Multiply, a podcast to provide a word of encouragement for village church planters and leaders.

This year, in these podcasts, I am focusing upon the “One Another” scriptures found in the New Testament as viewed through the lens of leadership.

Today’s podcast comes from James 5:16. “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

Earlier in this series I used this same scripture; in this episode I want to specifically address leaders and their responsibility to pray for those who are following their leadership.

I am currently reading “The Top 10 Leadership Conversations in the Bible” written by Steve Moore. I highly recommend this book.

In the chapter entitled “Burden,” Moore writes “Spiritual leaders understand God is the source of both capacity and responsibility for leadership. From that sense of responsibility to God for leadership, we develop a burden for others…

The primary evidence of a burden in the heart of a leader is the ministry of intercession for followers. If God has called you to lead a ministry, he has also called you to pray for that ministry.”

I invite you to ponder that statement for a few moments. Ask yourself, “how regularly and how urgently do I pray for those whom I am leading? How often and how urgently do I pray for the ministry that I lead?”

As many of you know, in addition to serving as Africa Regional Director, for over five years I have been privileged to serve as the Church Multiplication Facilitator (CMF) for VCP Supervisor Peter Baraka. Frequently, when he introduces me in gatherings, he tells others that I “pray for him and his family.” What an honor to be introduced in this way!

Moore also writes, “Leaders with a heavy burden for their followers, and for the mission that draws them together, will fall to their knees in prayer under the weight of such responsibility. Prayer for followers and for the mission increases the burden which increases the need for prayer… Leaders with a burden from God seek divine provision. Leaders without a burden from God seek shortcut solutions.”

In 1 Samuel 12:23, the prophet says, “Far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right.”

Leaders, Samuel mentions prayer for others before he talks about teaching them. While both are important, I urge you to make prayer the priority.

This has been a word of encouragement for Village Church Planters.

Marriage Series - Resolve Conflicts With Grace and Truth

 Hello everybody, my name is Dean Davis and this is “Multiply,” the podcast that

provides a word of encouragement for Village Church Planters.

One of the greatest descriptions of the ministry of our Lord Jesus Christ is

found in the Gospel of John, chapter 1, verses 14 -16. John says “The Word

became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the

glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and

truth… Out of his fullness, we have all received grace in place of grace already

given. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through

Jesus Christ.

I love this description of Jesus! He was full of grace and truth. As a sinner, I

was well acquainted with the law. Maybe I didn’t know the law of Moses, but I

knew the law of my parents! I knew I was expected to tell the truth and to

respect the property of others. I was not to insult or hurt other people. I was to

obey my parents without delay. I was to honor God. This was the law in my

family and in my home. But I could not live up to it. I felt so guilty. I wondered

how I could ever be free from my guilt. Then I heard about Jesus. I learned

that he paid the penalty for my sins by shedding his blood on the cross. He rose

from the dead to give me, a guilty sinner, forgiveness and new life.

I discovered that this loving disposition of Jesus is called grace. He loves us, He

desires to forgive us. But as I heard this message from a variety of evangelists, I

was troubled. They kept telling me I had to confess my sins if I was to be

forgiven. They told me that Jesus is full of grace, but he is also full of truth.

We too must tell the truth about our sins. This is called confession. When I

confessed my sins and repented, I found forgiveness: sweet, full, wonderful

forgiveness that brought refreshment and peace. I had discovered that what

the evangelists told me was true. You can’t experience the grace of God in

forgiveness without telling the truth to God in confession of sin.

Jesus is full of grace and truth. Because of his grace, he lovingly offers

reconciliation with God. Because of his truth, he calls us to walk in the light,

to live in the truth, and to confess our sins. When we do, he graciously

forgives us.

So what does all this have to do with marriage? If a man and his wife want to

resolve conflict in their marriage, they need to be filled with grace and truth.

If you want to be free from conflict and distrust, you must embrace truth.

Never lie to your husband or wife. If you do, you will destroy trust and create

separation. You will give the devil an opportunity to divide you. When you

fail, admit it. Husbands, wives, don’t claim that you are sinless when you have

failed to keep your word. Confess your sins to one another and pray for one

another that you may be healed. And be sure to fill you marriage with grace.

Be quick to forgive, just as God in Christ has forgiven you. When your spouse

confesses a sin or a shortcoming to you, express forgiveness. This may take

time, but ask God to help you come to a place of forgiveness. And don’t just

forgive silently. Say the words, “I forgive you.” As you do so, you will be

following the example of Jesus, full of grace and truth.

This has been “Multiply.” And I’m Dean Davis asking, “Who will you share this

encouraging word with today?

#EncouragementForVillageChurchPlanters #GraceAndTruth