Marriage Series - Build Each Other Up Part 1

Hello everybody, my name is Dean Davis and this is “Multiply,” the podcast that provides a word of encouragement for Village Church Planters.

God has called married couples to live together in loving harmony and peaceful partnership.  Now, there are many deeds of love that married partners do for each other.  They provide food and prepare food.  They provide clothing and shelter. Married couples give wise counsel to each other.  They serve each other and give each other gifts.  These deeds of love are very important in a marriage.  But as important as loving deeds are, they are not enough.  For a marriage partnership to be long lasting and full of joy, words of love are needed as well.

Paul instructed the members of the church in Ephesus about words of love in Ephesians 4:29. He said that the Ephesians should not let any unwholesome talk come out of their mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Paul’s instructions are particularly applicable for the family and especially between husband and wife.

In every language, there are words that should not be spoken. If they are spoken, they show great disrespect. Of course, these words should never be used between husband and wife.  If these hurtful words are used, they will put an end to mutual trust.  But Paul is not just warning against “bad words” he is also warning Christians to avoid saying things that tear down relationships.

Unfortunately, many of us learned short destructive sentences when we were young.  These short sentences attribute foolishness, stupidity, and weakness to another person. They are designed to shame, humiliate, and embarrass the listener. Shaming, humiliating and embarrassing someone is the very opposite of loving a person. These negative descriptions are extremely dangerous for a marriage. Even when we feel angry, we must refrain from shaming or disparaging the husband or wife of our youth.  

But love is far more than refraining from doing evil.  Love is a positive good. So Paul says that instead of using unwholesome talk, we should build up our partners according to their needs.  What does that mean? It means that our words and phrases should be edifying, not destructive. Here are some phrases that husbands and wives should speak to each other frequently: I love you. Thank you for your kindness to me.  I’m so glad we are married. I appreciate you so much.  You are a good mother for our children. (Or, you are a good father for our children). You are so smart.  You are so talented.  You are a good provider. Thank you for what you did today. You did a good job. I’m glad God brought us together.

Every husband and wife should find time and opportunity to say several of these phrases to their mate every day. Phrases like these build up a marriage. They build trust. They banish shame. In a very real way, they are spiritual warfare because they contradict the devil’s lies.

Remember, do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

This has been “Multiply.” And I’m Dean Davis asking, “Who will you share this encouraging word with today?

 

#EncouragementForVillageChurchPlanters #Edify